How to Write Romance That Feels Real (Expert Tips & Examples)
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Welcome: More Than Just “Happily Ever After”
There’s nothing quite like the spark of a well-written romance. But even the most passionate story falls flat if the love doesn’t feel real. Whether you’re writing a swoon-worthy novel or want to add a heartfelt subplot, believable romance comes from genuine emotion, not cheesy lines or forced attraction.
I’m Brandon Rohrbaugh, author, writing coach, and longtime fan of stories with heart. I’ve helped writers from every genre craft love stories that resonate with readers. Today, I’m sharing the tips, examples, and exercises that will help you make your next romance leap off the page (and stay with readers long after “The End”).
Table of Contents
What Makes Romance Feel Real?
Start With Compelling, Complex Characters
Show Attraction—Don’t Just Tell
Build Chemistry Through Conflict and Connection
Avoid Common Romance Clichés
Raise the Stakes: Emotional and External Obstacles
Write Dialogue That Sizzles
Make the Relationship Change Both Characters
Free Chemistry Checklist for Writers
Related Resources
Conclusion & Call to Action
What Makes Romance Feel Real?
Real romance is about emotional truth. It’s not just about two attractive people falling in love, but about why they fall for each other, and what they must risk, reveal, or overcome along the way.
Ask yourself:
What draws these characters together, beyond physical attraction?
What fears, vulnerabilities, or desires do they share?
How do they challenge and change each other?
The best romantic plots grow organically from character, not just from plot convenience. If the characters’ feelings make sense, even if they take time to bloom, readers will root for them.
Start With Compelling, Complex Characters
Believable love starts with believable people. Avoid “blank slate” or “wish fulfillment” heroes and heroines. Instead, give each love interest:
Unique strengths and flaws
Personal goals that sometimes conflict
A backstory that shapes how they see love (and themselves)
Example:
In The Hating Game by Sally Thorne, Lucy and Josh’s personalities clash at work, but their quirks, insecurities, and private hopes make their growing feelings feel inevitable and genuine.
When designing your characters, ask: What does each one want most? What are they most afraid of in love?
Show Attraction—Don’t Just Tell
Photo by Asad Photo Maldives: https://www.pexels.com/photo/silhouette-of-man-and-woman-kissing-1024975/
Saying “they were drawn to each other” isn’t enough. Instead, use subtle signs:
Stolen glances and body language
Nervousness, teasing, or awkward silences
Internal thoughts (“Why do I keep noticing his smile?”)
Contrasts: how they act around others vs. around their love interest
Example:
In Pride and Prejudice, Austen builds tension through glances, overheard conversations, and misunderstandings, letting the reader feel every moment of longing.
Let your characters’ actions and reactions do the talking.
Build Chemistry Through Conflict and Connection
Great romantic chemistry is built on more than instant attraction. It often comes from friction—differences in values, backgrounds, or life goals—and from discovering unexpected common ground.
Put your love interests at odds (enemies to lovers, opposites attract, rivals, etc.)
Give them scenes where they have to work together or challenge each other’s beliefs
Show them bonding over small, meaningful moments—shared humor, inside jokes, helping each other when it matters
Example:
In Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston, Alex and Henry start as rivals but grow close through private texts and moments of vulnerability, creating both sparks and emotional depth.
Avoid Common Romance Clichés
Modern readers crave fresh, authentic love stories—not recycled tropes. While some classic setups can still work (like “fake dating” or “friends to lovers”), avoid:
Instant, unexplained love (“insta-love”) without groundwork
Love interests with no real flaws or personality outside the romance
Unnecessary misunderstandings that drag on too long
“Fixing” a character solely through romance
Instead, focus on earned moments and real consequences. Let characters make mistakes and grow.
Raise the Stakes: Emotional and External Obstacles
Photo by Yan Krukau: https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-woman-covering-her-ears-7640490/
Romance stories are about longing and struggle—what stands between your characters and happiness?
Internal obstacles: fears, insecurities, trust issues, old wounds
External obstacles: families, jobs, rivals, distance, time, secrets
Example:
In The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang, both main characters must overcome deep-seated insecurities and outside expectations before they can truly connect.
Keep the tension high—what must each character risk for love, and what might they lose?
Write Dialogue That Sizzles
Dialogue is where romance comes alive. Make every conversation count:
Let dialogue reveal character—quirks, vulnerabilities, humor
Use subtext: what are they not saying, and why?
Add banter and wit, but also allow space for quiet, sincere moments
Example:
In The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion, Don and Rosie’s conversations are awkward, funny, and honest, making their relationship feel real and unique.
Try writing scenes as pure dialogue first, then layer in action and internal thoughts.
Make the Relationship Change Both Characters
The best romances aren’t just about finding “the one”—they’re about personal growth.
How does the relationship force each character to confront fears or flaws?
What do they learn from each other?
Do they become better, braver, or more authentic by the end?
Let the journey leave both changed—even if it’s not a perfect “happily ever after.”
Example:
In It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover, Lily’s relationship journey is as much about self-discovery and healing as about romantic love.
Free Chemistry Checklist for Writers
Download my Romance Chemistry Checklist—a printable worksheet to help you track tension, stakes, and authenticity in your love story.
Get the free checklist here!
Includes:
10 questions to test your couple’s chemistry
Red flags for clichés and shortcuts
Space to brainstorm fresh, unique relationship arcs
Related Resources
Conclusion
Writing real, memorable romance is about honesty, empathy, and the courage to let your characters be imperfect. Give them challenges, let them surprise you, and don’t be afraid to break a few rules along the way.
What’s your favorite love story—book, film, or real life? Share in the comments, or tag me with your own romantic scene! Want more tips? [Sign up for my free newsletter] or download the Chemistry Checklist.
Happy writing—and may your next romance be unforgettable!
Brandon Rohrbaugh | Author, Writing Coach, Champion of Real Love Stories
